14.February.2007
hrm... skipped a whole year and a half of entries. real odd considering how important to me this was years ago...
Ok, sum things up real quick then...
2005 left off with me being in a car accident. Apparently, a bit serious. I'm basically completely healed from it. That is,
you wouldn't be able to tell that something so serious happened to me. I can tell at times. I can't look up for long
periods of time. My eyesight randomly loses focus (this is real rare). I can get a side-ache trying to focus on my peripheral
vision for more than 1 second. I get headaches after intense physical workouts. What's funny is the things that don't scare me
though. I still ride with drunk drivers (yeah, horrible fucking habit, but i still do it when i'm drunk). Pretty much my
presence in a vehicle doesn't disturb me at all, and has been this way since the accident. I still drink (more now even). I am
still in the army. I haven't been to a doctor about my accident in over a year now. Bleh, I get so damned carried away with that topic.
2006 was my move to (back) Lawton, Ft. Sill, Oklahoma. Horrible fucking year. We had to work like crazy to leave germany. I never even
thought I was leaving. I came back to a place I never wanted to be again. I have a roomate (though he's a great friend, so this isn't
even a big deal. on occasion it's a hinderance, but i would not want him to live with anyone else, and I would not want to live with anyone
else that's still here). Funny enough, my current roomate is part of the reason of the car accident. (he was the driver, and i was
the person feeding him drinks).
2007 started off in Corpus Christi, TX, and has been slightly uneventful...
So far this year I've been trying to concentrate on getting out of the army. I am applying to the University of Arizona with a
major of Creative Writing. I have decided that what I get a degree in doesn't matter so much. I want to have a degree, and I
want it to be in something I'm interested in, can dedicate myself, and be something I could use in the future. However, If I'm
not a 'creative writer' 5 years from now, it's not going to bother me so much. What will bother me is not having a degree.
I can write for days, seriously. Whether or not I do a good job of that is still debatable, but just the fact that I can and will do
it (whether it is my major or not) was a huge factor in my decision. I'm transfering my credits over as we speak, and as
soon as that goes through I should be in.
The most important thing that I want to do in my life. The thing I want to leave with people, when I'm gone and out of thier
lives, is the stories that I tell. Stories are the most important part of my life. Stories are why I joined the military. Stories
are why I moved halfway across the country. Stories is why i create unneeded drama in my life. My experience in life defines
me as a person. What I've always wanted to do, was use that which defines me as a person to gain someone's interest in what I have to say.
I don't necessarily want to say much, or have a lot to say about things. What I want is the next time I come in contact with a person, for
them to say, "hey, tell us when you..." If I don't have a story, I make one up.
Before I joined the miltary I wrote in this very diary religiously. Whether or not I had something important to say, I wrote in
the diary. My mom talked to me one day and asked, "when did you fall into a cactus?" I had been called out. I realized at this point
that there wasn't anything interesting in my life. That I was forced to make up things to write in my diary that never happened to me,
and make them believable. I told her it never happened; her response, "it was interesting nontheless"
I don't have any strong talents. I lack anything that I can say, "I am better than the majority of people at..." While this
perturbs me, I'm glad that I am slightly good at a number of things.
You see, I'm too flakey. I never lost interest in things, but I gain stronger interest in things on a daily basis. Each day
something significant happens in my life, and becomes another thing to enrapture my thoughts.
I don't really have long term goals of my life. I see 6 months into the future and that's all. However, I will make a list of
things I want to be able to say that I've done when I'm 60...
Hold a Degree
Travel to all Continents
Be Married
Have at least two kids
Changed jobs at least every 5 years
Make sure my parents die happy (ok, real morbid, but deal with it)
Have two brothers and one sister more sucessful in life than me, becuase of something I did
Contributed to a cause that has signifantly made the Earth better in the future
Have a book written about my life
Perhaps I'm asking a lot, but those are my life goals. Not one any more significant than the other. These don't
define my life, and make up my daily decisions. However, I will be a happy man if I can accomplish all.
I'm working on getting an apartment in Tuscon, Arizona. That is where I'm going to live when I get out. As much as I want to
venture out to someplace new. I've got to establish a firm grounding point when i get out of the Army to insure I don't
find myself here again.
I have never, will ever, and currently do not regret joining the Army. I have regrets about what I spent my time doing while
in the army, but it has been one of the most significant, life altering experiences of my life. I could not be happier that i've met
people like Tanner, Steffi, Boisvert, Dement, SGT Wilson, Sigalas, Siglar, Harder, Permenter, Clark, Mott, Babin, Baker, Antonelli, Rieser, Rork, Adam Stock,
Micheal Spiesman, CPT Craig, Jennifer Pacurrari, Sean Case, Ronald Williams, Marc Shultz, Gary Warren, Steven Knopf, SSG Jackson, Rosa, and Kayla. All of which have taught me
something about myself, make my day more managable, and gave me something for the future. Before joining the military my list would have
consisted of about 10 people.
But I told myself 4 years ago, "Do 4 years then do something else". That's what I'm going to do now, but all those I've mentioned
above are welcome in my life at anytime, and I never thought I would have said that 4 years ago.
Time to do somethign else, I'll try to keep you posted.
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