My father grew up in Luxemburg. He started working on a farm his sophomore year in high school. He wasn't much of an
extracurricular man in high school. It's all about work! See, my father has to be working, that's his thing. He's what you
call a hardcore workaholic. He can't sit still. It's funny and sad at the same time.
He asked my mother to marry him, and get married they did.
In Vegas! How smooth is that! You could tell that was going to last long.
So, long story short, to the part that's mainly relevant to Myself and brothers...
My parents purchased a farm basically the same time I was born.
So that's the type of life I was looking forward to.
I was a big time fan of my father when I was a kid, and you may have noticed from some of my pictures.
My father was really concerned with only one thing. Work.
For about his entire adult life, my father has worked two jobs.
Here is his schedule he's had for many years now.
wake up-6am, go into the barn and take care of the cows.
at about 830-9am he goes to work.
In the summer, it's a concrete job.
In the winter, he is a lumberjack.
He get's home at about 5pm, and goes into the barn.
Stays out there till about 8pm
Comes into the house, watches a little TV, and goes to sleep at about 10
That's Monday through Sunday, every day of the year!
Either impressive, or pyscho. I'll go for the latter.
Anyway, my father and mother were together until I was about 6 or 7.
The initial divorce situation is all a little hazy to me.
I remember it was early winter maybe, I'm not too sure about that. I looked out the window and saw
my mom driving away. I asked my dad where she was going so early to work for, and he said
something like, we are seperating. That was our discussion about the divorce.
The ongoing hassles, now, those stick out all too well in my mind.
For those of you who have been involved in divorces, know all to well of the strange situations that go on.
Strange stories being made up, everyone is fighting for custody. It's a major headache.
Whenever my mom would come to pick up us, my brothers and I would walk halfway down our lane (.25 miles)
We didn't want our parents didn't have to see each other.
Yeah, my brothers taking turns of not going to my mothers place for months
Just based on the stories my dad would spin.
I never had hassles with my mother, but my father pissed me off big time with his stories.
I eventually just got sick of everything, and moved in with my mother 100% of the time when I was 15.
That was a bad situation.
I was talking to a friend on the phone, and told my friend we were going to Noah's Ark
My father NEVER took us on trips, so this was a big deal.
I told my father that I wanted my friend to come along.
He wasn't having any of it, this was a family thing.
I didn't really know a big family trip with my father, I want to bring my friend!
Ok, so we are yelling at each other, finally...
"Bring me to my mom's place!"
Yeah, that wasn't cool
I sat in the back seat while he drove, and neither of us said a word.
He stopped, I was about to get out, He leaned back,
"if you still want to come, let me know"
"can Kelly come?" I asked.
"Doug, we've already talked about this" He said.
Then I got out.
I didn't talk to my father one bit until late winter of my sophomore year.
I remember this situation very well, it was terrible.
I was at my mother's place with my 21 year old girlfriend.
I was thinking of getting a snowboard, but I didn't want to wait for my tax return.
I gave my father a call, and asked him for an advance.
I didn't talk to the guy in two years, not once,
I call him up and ask for 250 bucks. Yeah, I was a loser.
It was a good thing though, I ended up slowly rebuilding our 'relationship'
By this time in his life, he met an apparent long term partner, who we'll call Rhonda.
He has mellowed out completely, it was like meeting a different person.
Well, anyhow, we are cool now, really cool.
Ronda is pretty cool too, at least to me. We'll discuss this a bit.
Rhonda has always been extremely good to me. I know my brothers have differing opionions
I guess that has to deal with my short and unexpected visits to the farm.
Not living there has given me a total different outlook on that situation
I haven't been as close with my father for many years, since the whole divorce got really ugly
So that makes everything much different for me than my brothers.
But anyway, Rhonda has always given me a lot of respect
She really really helped me out when I went to college
My mother didn't do too much at all, but Rhonda was way helpful about it
I guess that was the first time it was just Doug and Rhonda, and she wanted to make a good impression.
Well, I'll never forget how great it was her helping me.
I'll never be able to be a jerk to her like my brothers are
But now, I like going home, talking with my dad and Rhonda.
I actually think it's way cool now.
My dad and Rhonda are 'cute' together.
They told me they were getting married, which they haven't yet
My brothers are not cool with this, but I'm a big fan.
As much as my father has be a jerk to me, and me being a jerk to him
It's just good that he can settle down
Maybe start to accept his old age a little
It is time for him to do that
As much as I love the farm now, and all the freedom, and all the memories
He really should sell the place
Yeah, that sucks, all the cows, all the land, everything that sucks in milwaukee that is cool at home
He can't continue to work like he does
You know, I'm sure I'll have kids someday, a wife, all that stuff...
editor's note: yeesh!
I don't care about the 'redneck' comments, and 'farmboy' stuff like that
Growing up on a farm is an experience less and less people can have
It's strange to meet people who don't know anything about a farm at all
I just want people to see what that was like
It's made me the type of guy that I am today.
You know, I'm lazy sometimes, but I can't sit around all the time
I get antsy, farm kids have different personalities that 'city kids'
Not that one is better than the other
It is sort of a history thing though
Small farms like my father's dominated the landscape years ago
I guess I'm biased, but it's probably the most interesting type of living if you haven't experienced it.
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