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First Grade:
Name: Sara Jerovetz
Relationship: It started out all very innocent, as all relationships in elementary school are.
She was sort of traded off between my good pal, Alex, and myself. Apparently, whoever was
funnier for the month, ended up enjoying her affections.
I won her over with the classic, "what's for lunch?", "Froglegs". Hilarious, I know, I'll
give you a second to pick yourself off the floor. Anyhow, the biggest part was
really the 4 kisses that we had, which were mainly times when I was just so funny that
she couldn't keep her hands off of me.
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Second Grade:
Name: Chrissy Vandenhouten
Relationship: In second grade, during our math class time, she sat behind me for a
portion of the year. So our relationship lasted about as long as the teacher kept
that certian seating chart where she was behind me. Anyhow, she corrected my math
homework, and eventually, she just couldn't resist writing me sultry notes on the top
of the pages that she corrected. Nothing ever really materialized out of it, I mean,
physically. It was more of an emotional connection that we had.
My dad found some of these homework assignments and got pretty bad. "This stuff
isn't going to happen anymore Doug". That's what he said. I don't know if he
was afriad of being a grandfather, or what his issues was, but I didnt' let it affect me,
except for never giving him the chance of seeing any of my homework, or being involved in
any manner in the relationships I had with girlfriends, for the reminder of my educational
period of my life.
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Third Grade:
Name: Lori
Relationship: Again, math class. I don't know what it is about math class in
elementary school, but it just sparks the hormones to a point where you can't control
yourself anymore. This was definitely the most intense relationship I've had in my life
to this point. We actually talked on the phone a few times. Mainly when my dad wasn't around.
Nothing physical ever happened, she was about the most plain looking person ever, but
still pretty cool to know. We were together for quite a long time, but when school ended, she
moved off into a different district. She visited our school when we were sophomores, and she
was absolutely gorgeous. I'm thinking to myself, 'we are still together, we never broke it
off". Of course, we weren't in math class together anymore, so the magic between us was gone.
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Fourth Grade:
Name: Samantha Delfosse
Relationship: It was all about the passion surrounding valentines day. She gave me a
pretty sweet valentine, so I pursued it. We had our fun for a little while, but nothing
really interesing happened.
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Fifth Grade:
Name: Janet Buresh
Relationship: During reading class, the entire class would read a few paragraphs of
the book we were studying, then we would pick someone to call on. This was always a good
opportunity to figure out "who liked who". Well, when two people would constantly call
on each other to read, it was easy enough to figure they were together. However, this
was about the most exciting part of our relationship.
Name: Gina Dejardin
Relationship: My first real relationship. We hit it off pretty well. She started calling
on me to read all the time, and since I could tell things could go farther with Gina than
with Janet, I started calling on Gina more often. Of course, this created a huge delimma
with which girl I was supposed to be with. As some days I felt more inclined to call on Janet, and
others, Gina. Eventually, I made my claim on Gina. Gina and I decided that we should "kiss", which,
is a HUGE deal in 5th grade. Eventually, everyone in the entire grade knew about it, and knew the
day that it was supposed to happen. So at recess, which was where all the action was, there
was always a massive circle of kids around us trying to get a peek.
Her birthday was just two days before mine, and I her got her some nice perfume, only her parents couldn't
find out that we were together, so my brother Matt dropped it into her mailbox when my mother was driving
past her home one day. Pretty smooth. But besides a few kisses, there wasn't much to our relationship, and
it ended with the start of middle school.
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Sixth Grade:
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Seventh Grade:
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Eighth Grade:
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High School Freshman:
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High School Sophomore:
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High School Junior:
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High School Senior:
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College:
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© Doug Malcore 2002
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